My frozen little Embabies!

Thank you for all of your sweet emails and comments. So nice to have support from my blogger pals. My dilemna I was telling you about was what to do with my 11 frozen embryos at our clinic left over from the failed IVF cycle in July/August 2007. I thought I wanted to donate the embryos but we have eleven of this little guys and gals frozen in time and the thought of someone having more of my genetic children in their family than we have started to make me weak. But at the same time, I know DNA doesn't make a family. But I didn't want to take away from our family by always wondering where those embryos went. The IVF co-ordinator told me they could split them up to two or more families or just go to one family who then might donate them again, yada yada. The family nor the children would never know anything about us...ever! It is completely anonymous. What if Hunter started dating a genetic replica, we would never know. Its not like I have two, I have 11 embryos. Thats alot.

So then I think well I'll thaw and dispose of them which is another dilemna. First of all, Rob and I worked hard for those little dudes! He had to come to Godiva where I worked and bring Gabby after being in daycare all day to give my shots, all intramuscular I might add. We would lock ourselves in the stockroom and he would give them to me. My mom also had to give me shots. THEN came those awful PIO shots, oh the dread, they HURT so bad!!! All the bloodwork and then on top of that, I hyperstimulated badly!!! It was miserable pain. I say all this to say Rob and I worked hard and I took alot of drugs and went to alot of doctor appointments to get those little frosties! I hate to just toss the potential for life away. I know they cannot live without being implanted but still, they do have potential. And its kind of sad.

PLUS, Rob and I would maybe like to have a third finances permitting but I am just no where near ready at the moment. Not for at least two or more years, probably three or four. BUT do we pay the money to store them for three years and then pay for a FET and risk having multiples? I mean having one at a time is really plenty for me ;) although twins would be fine! However at the same time, what if breastfeeding did affect my pituitary tumor causing it to grow and interferes with my ability to ovulate which is what the first doctor had told me. Slim chance but you never know. Plus we had perfect embryos and he was really shocked I did not get pregnant on the fresh cycle. We were obviously supposed to have Hunter but what if one of our next babies is frozen. Rob and I have endured so many fertility hardships. To know that we have 11 beautiful little embryos waiting for us makes me just happy inside. What if we were to thaw them and then we went through all the pregnancy issues again. It would be worth the money to go through FET if we did decided to have another.

So thats where we were!!! Finally, I just couldn't decide and we paid for another year!!!Hopefully 2009 will shed new light!