I Just Can't Sleep

So yes, here is my third post for the night people. I can't sleep tonight.

This post is about life experiences and how they play a role in your life. When my friend Jaclyn was pregnant with Sammy she told me something that really hit home for me. She said, "You know Mera, I have not experienced all that you have in your past pregnancies and do not know the pain of loss nor can I imagine what it feels like, but I'm just as scared." For some reason, that was an epiphany to me. Just because she hasn't had trouble doesn't mean she feared it any less than I did. It really opened my eyes to the fact that it is so easy to assume that people who haven't experienced what you have don't still have similar and equal fears. I think it is easy to assume the battle you are fighting is supreme and those that battle less or seemingly so cannot relate. Thats why I really want to educate others on miscarriage prevention. Those who have experienced infertility and those that may just want the information. But I am one person whose knowledge and experience does not reign supreme.

But most of all, I want to move on from that time in my life. I want to enjoy the blessings that I have in my family. It is still a fear but I feel like it is so easy to get caught up in the misery of hardship. It is those that battle hardship with such grace and silent strength that I admire most. I did learn from our history but I don't want it to continue to define me. And sometimes that is hard to do. I want to love my family and embrace our experiences together whatever life may throw our way. That is my prayer for tonight, to approach life with grace, humility and acceptance. Acceptance of myself as I am and those around me as they are.